To My Dearly Beloved
by MedliSage
Summary: A year later and things are still the same in the worst ways - and there seems to be one more trial they need to face. Post-Xillia 2.
1. Reunion Again

_happy jumilla day 2014! ＼(^▽^)ノ here's hoping i finish this before jumilla day 2015_

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><p><em>Bzz-bzzt.<em>

Jude reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his vibrating GHS, flipping it open and reading the new text message it displayed.

_Sender: Balan  
>Recipient: Jude Mathis<br>Subject: Meeting at Laforte_

_Just wanted to send you some last minute encouragement. Sorry I couldn't be there with you. I know we've come a way since we last talked to our good friends at the Laforte, but don't let it get you down too much if they're still hesitant about the whole spyrite implementation. They'll come around in time. And if they don't, they're a bunch of old fogeys and won't be around much longer anyway. lol_

Jude gave a short sigh. As oh so humorous as Balan was, time wasn't exactly something that they - that Jude - had an abundance of. And the cool, crisp breeze of Fennmont's eternal night only felt like a stinging jab at that fact - the same, unchanging, nearly mystical charm the air carried. That in itself reminded him of her, as if it wasn't already enough that currently he was making his way across the research district to the Laforte Center.

He exhaled a rather longing sigh before starting to compose his reply.

_Thanks Balan. I'll be back at Helioborg tomorrow. Can you _

His GHS nearly fell from his hands as the wind suddenly picked up, whisking away the lights that lined the walkway with it. When it died down and Jude opened his eyes it was now quite dark, dark enough that it was hard to see anything more than a few feet in front of him. But that most certainly wasn't why his heart was racing now.

With a deep breath he quickly closed his eyes and held out his nearly shaking free hand. And while his heart pounded against his chest, he waited.

And waited. And waited. And waited.

He could tell from behind his eyelids that the lights around him had taken form again. Yet still it was several long moments later that he slowly lowered his hand and opened his eyes, sighing quietly.

Now he just felt stupid. What had he been expecting?

Well, of course he knew what he had been expecting. Or at least, what he had wanted.

He shook his head and looked back down at his screen. He couldn't even remember how he was going to finish this. Deleting the last two words, he sent the reply, before pocketing his GHS and resuming his walk.

In the year since humanity's passing of Origin's Trial, Jude the only thing that had really changed for Jude was the fervor at which he worked. Spyrite research was in ever increasing favor. The actual mass-production of spyrites had begun, largely due to the jump they were able to take since the summon of spyrite Maxwell - of course, another thing thanks to her help - but there were still people and places they needed convincing of their potential - particularly the areas Rieze Maxia that had been rather dissatisfied, to put it lightly, with the dissolution of the schism.

"You must be Dr. Mathis," the guard said as Jude approached the gate to the research center.

Jude nodded. "Right. I'm here to meet with the head researcher."

"Enter," the guard said, stepping to the side as the doors slid open.

Passing through, Jude made a swift pace toward his destination. His stomach was in a bit of a knot, and although it was for decidedly different reasons, it was not unlike his last time here, nearly two years ago. This time though he did not have anyone to put him at ease, anyone to still the erratic beating of his heart.

He gave a small sigh. He didn't even have a real reason to be nervous, he supposed. Balan was right. Things had come a long way since their last conference with the researchers at Laforte, back around eight months ago when they had come to meeting at Marksburg, and even if they totally shot Jude down today, life would move on. Plans would just have to proceed without the speed increase that would come from being backed by Laforte, one of the most high-end research centers out there. And they had time. The world had time.

Yet still each day that went by felt less and less like it had a point.

But there wasn't time to think about that, now.

The door to one of the labs slid open as Jude approached it, and with one last, deep breath, he stepped through.

Inside were three men, each in a white lab coat and seated at a rectangular table. Upon Jude's arrival, one of them stood. "You're Jude Mathis, right?"

"Yes," Jude said, holding out one of his hands. "From Helioborg. You must be Head Researcher Haus?"

"I'm Dr. Haus, yes," the man said, shaking Jude's hand once before sliding his back into his pockets. "I believe you were acquainted with my brother?"

Jude nodded. "He was one of my professors when I was studying at Talim. Actually -"

"Wonderful," Dr. Haus said, briskly turning back to the table and taking his seat again. "Now as you know, I regrettably wasn't able to be present the last time your people came to show us how far you had gone with these spyrites of yours. So I trust you to explain this thoroughly. Why exactly should we at Laforte help you with your spyrite research?"

Jude walked forward and reached into his coat, placing a small blue stone and a cube on the table. "I believe that spyrites can shape the future of this world."

* * *

><p>"...And that's all." Jude turned off the booster had laid on the table, subsequently stopping the flow of mana into the spirit fossil and causing the small spyrite that had started to take shape to lose its form back into the stone.<p>

There were a few moments in which the room was quiet, save for the mumbles of the men at the table as they spoke to each other in hushed tones, glancing and pointing at notes they had taken while Jude was speaking.

"So you want us to help you research spyrites in order to produce them faster. Even though in Elympios, they're already starting to be mass-produced," Dr. Haus eventually said.

"If Laforte were to help us, we could find a more efficient way to produce more spyrites," Jude replied. "If that happened, then it would make them more readily available to the public. And the more spyrites that we have in common use, the more mana is conserved, and the more spirits are able to thrive."

"That's all well and good for Elympios," Dr Haus said, tapping a finger on the table, "but here in Rieze Maxia we don't have a need to save mana. You're basically asking us to change what we do just fine in order to help a bunch of terrorists who tried to use all of us as a power source."

Jude shook his head. "Spyrites would benefit Rieze Maxia as well. Since the system for spyrite conjuring follows the same basic formula as spirit channeling -"

"That's what I mean. We're just fine the way we are, without all of this…" Dr. Haus paused a bit, making a vague hand gesture at the spirit fossil and booster. "...excess baggage."

"Furthermore, the researchers of Laforte have more pressing matters than helping that doomed world," another one of the men said, stroking his white beard. "Just two days ago we received confirmation of reported spirit disappearances, no doubt some side effect of having to share our air with those Elympios filth."

"Disappearing spirits?" Jude's gaze snapped to the man, his tone hurried. "What do you mean?"

"There've been numerous reports of failed channelings lately," the man explained. "Some people are even saying that after they channel a spirit, it vanishes a second later."

"Then that's all the more reason to consider spyrites," Jude said quickly. "If we can work with them, it might help us find out -"

"That's enough, I think," Dr. Haus said, standing up. "It sounds as though Elympios is going to be able to handle their problems just fine. Furthermore, as we've said, we at Laforte have our own research to pursue. Good luck to you and your friends at Helioborg, Dr. Mathis."

Jude's eyes cast down to the table, and after a moment he picked up the booster and fossil, slipping them back into his pocket. "Thank you for your time," he said, and without waiting for a reply he exited the room.

Within just a few minutes he was back outside of the research center, his pace fast despite his feet feeling like lead. Eventually he slowed down, coming to a complete stop as he came to the center of the bridge.

He sighed heavily. He hadn't walked in there with high expectations, exactly, but he certainly hadn't anticipated being shot down that fast.

His feet slowly carried him to the bridge's railing, where he leaned over it slightly, his gaze cast down to the water.

This changed nothing. Things would continue on a steady upward scale. It was true that the help of Laforte was not vital. But it of course wasn't speeding things up. And speed is something they - is something _Jude_ needed.

The faster spyrites became commonplace, the faster mana could be conserved and saved. And if that was able to happen while they were still thriving off the mana from the schism, then maybe -

His grip on the rail tightened. There was no guarantee. In fact, it was unlikely, if anything. He had things he had to do, and she had things she had to do. And they were connected, they were together. They always would be. He had come to peace with this fact a year ago - yet still, here he was, his chest tight and his stomach in a knot over it. He couldn't dwell. He had to keep moving forward - for the world's sake and for hers. There were things he had to do; there was a duty he had to fulfill.

He bit his tongue as he remembered the researcher's words. Disappearing spirits. What did that even mean? Jude hadn't heard of anything like that lately. Was it just a brief phenomena around Fennmont? Was the spirit clime changing? No, that didn't make sense. Was it actually a result of spyrites? Was there some kind of flaw in all this work he had put in? If there was, how was he going to fix it?

His chest felt like it was caught in a vice, constricted so tightly around him it was making his breaths shallow. Everything seemed like a problem. He felt lost. His eyes moved up a bit, catching site of one of the floodgates that lead into the basement of the research center. The bars of it were still bent and disfigured, not yet fully repaired completely from back then.

Had anything really changed? Even now, it was as if he was still relying on her for motivation, for guidance. At his worst, he was still lost and alone, and even everything went according to plan, he would never be able to see her again. Anxiety crept up his body. He would never have his worries assuaged with that same gentle ease again, either.

Jude's gaze dropped back down.

This time he remained motionless as the wind picked up again, harder than before, and once more the lights dimmed down to nothingness.

And then in all the cool darkness around him, there was the warmth of a hand on top of his.

"The last time I was here, we made a wish together. I didn't think mine would come true so soon."

Jude turned so fast that the returning lights became blurry, only adding to the ethereal effect of the person who stood next to him now.

"Milla," he said, nearly breathless, his heart frozen and his legs almost shaking.

She smiled, the same, soft smile she always had for him.

It could not be said who moved first, but before a second passed their arms had woven tightly around each other, their bodies pressed together. Jude's mind spun as he struggled to process this at all, tried to make sense of it, tried to find a reason as to why this wasn't just a hallucination or a dream. It was too real for that, however - the sensations were rushing back and hitting him like a tidal wave, the sound of her voice, the comfort of her embrace, her warmth, her scent.

"I can't believe… I don't understand," Jude finally managed to say, still holding her close, as if scared she'd vanish if he let go. "Why… are you here?"

For a moment she was quiet. Jude pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, but after feeling her body tense just a bit and seeing her side-cast eyes, he almost wished he hadn't asked.

"I can't stay here long," she said quietly. "There's something I need to investigate."

It was like the knife was just plunged anew into the ever-bleeding wound he seemed to bear.

"I didn't expect you to be here," Milla continued, almost inaudible. Her eyes met Jude's again, and despite the fact that her lips were still curved into a small smile, something about the way her eyes were nearly shimmering made Jude's heart drop. "It almost feels like fate."

"Milla," he said, barely able to hear himself over the pounding of his heart. There were so many things he wanted to say, wanted to ask her, so many things he wanted to tell her. In the year that had passed, not a day had gone by where he hadn't thought of her. Not a day had gone by that he hadn't wondered if someday, he could see her again. If he was sure that one thing had not changed, it was his feelings for her.

But those were things that he had to keep to himself.

Like last time, she could only be here for as long as needed, and no more. And to speak any of those thoughts would only make the inevitable harder for her.

She understood this as well. And that was why they simply stood there, silent, their arms still wrapped loosely around each other.

"Let me help," Jude eventually said. As he smiled gently at her, some phrase about how we can force our bodies to do just about anything for the one we loved popped into his head. "What did you come here to investigate?"

Milla gave him a small smile back for only a brief moment, before it faded and her eyes cast away from him again. "Before that…" She paused, and Jude just barely felt her fingers curl tighter into his coat. "Jude… I -"

_Riiiing ring ring riiiing ring -_

One of Jude's coat pockets vibrated in time with the chiming, and only when Milla slowly stepped back did Jude reach his hand in and pull out his GHS. "It's Alvin," he said in a somewhat surprised tone, before sighing shortly and picking it up. "Hello?"

"_Heeyy, Jude! What's going on? You're in Fennmont today, right?"_

"Uh, not much," Jude said, glancing to Milla and then back away again. "And yeah, I am. Why?"

"_Great! Then you should come over to the inn ASAP! I'll be waiting for you!"_

"Wait, what? Alvin, what's -"

_Click. Beepbeepbeep…_

Jude only sighed as he closed his GHS and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Let's go. I can explain on the way," Milla said. Jude looked over at her - of course, she was the same, collected, assertive Milla. And as they made their way out of the research district, mixed feelings churned in Jude's stomach, smatterings of nostalgia, both comforting and melancholic. This time, however, he sped his pace to match hers, walking at her side.

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><p>hooo boy well is this a mess if i ever saw one. um where to start. i don't really have an excuse for the quality other than "i really wanted to at least start this on jumilla day, but i can't work on it during the actual day since i'm too busy so i'll just post it the night before but i didn't plan ahead at all so i had to plan at least a vague idea of the whole fic and then write this in about an 1.5 hours." but uh yeah. so. that's what it is. so i do know where this is going but only.. really... vaguely, haha. so if this seems like it has excessive extraneous details or events i promise it will! be revealed later... and all that... i also didn't want to get too info-dumpy with this so... yeah... um... i know the pacing is weird... especially how it just cuts in the middle w jude's speech and all (but who wants to hear jude explain spyrites tbh)... please trust me i know... but uh... i promise it'll get better. yeah. totally... idk, expositions are? whatever. whatever this is why i don't write multi-chapter fics. i think the last time i did one was five years ago? also the guy is prof. haus's brother because i didn't want to make him a random dude's name. anyway, sorry if you sat through all my talking here, and also thank you. ciao


	2. Semblances of Warmth

The air in Fennmont was as cool as always - however a soft breeze, one that carried with it an almost chilling effect, pushed against Jude and Milla as they made their way to the inn.

"There has been some strange activity among the lesser spirits lately," Milla said, her voice quieting a bit as they exited the research district and the crowd started to thicken.

"What do you mean?" Jude questioned, looking at her curiously.

Milla brought her hand up to her chin in thought, allowing a brief pause before she replied. "It's as if they're vanishing," she said, her eyes remaining steadily forward even as Jude's look of concern only deepened. "I don't sense any of them dying… but I'm certain they're no longer in the spirit realm."

"When I was in the research center before you came, I heard one of the people there say something like that," Jude said. "He said that there have been a lot of failed channelings lately. Or that when people summon a spirit, it disappears a few seconds later."

"Has this been happening elsewhere?"

Jude shook his head. "This is the first I've heard of it."

As they crossed the plaza toward the inn, Milla was quiet a moment. "I came here to investigate a potential cause, or to determine if they've somehow come to the human realm. If they're not here either… though I suppose there's that place -"

"Whoa there! Jude, you didn't tell me the lady herself was back in town! What, hoping to keep all her time to yourself and put on the moves?"

"Alvin, come on," Jude said with a sigh as Alvin approached them. "I barely had time to say two words to you before you hung up. And she's only just gotten here."

"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Alvin asked, a broad smile on his face as he looked to Milla. "Something tells me you didn't just come here to say hi."

"Of course not," Milla said, folding her arms. "I can't stay here long."

"Apparently spirits have been vanishing," Jude said quickly, trying to distract himself from the twist of the knife in his chest. "Milla came to investigate."

"Vanishing? You mean like from spyrix usage?"

Milla shook her head. "No. No spirits are dying. However, there's been an increasing number of them simply disappearing from the spirit realm. I wanted to investigate a potential cause or find out if they've somehow traversed to this realm."

"Sounds like some serious stuff," Alvin said, folding his arms behind his head before giving a sigh. "I take it you two are pretty booked then, huh?"

"Is there something you need? Is that what you called about?" Jude asked.

"Yeah, well, about that. If we go into the inn, I think I can explain better." Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked a few paces into the inn's door, Jude and Milla following shortly after.

As they entered, a high, nearly haughty voice greeted them in an instant. "Alvin, what took you so long? Me and Rollo were getting bored."

"Sorry about that, kid," Alvin answered as he strode over to Elle. "Had a quick conversation with these two."

Elle stood up from her chair off to the side of lobby and walked over to the group, Rollo in tow. "Oh, it's Jude. And… why is she here?"

Alvin gave her a vague wave of the hand. "Long, boring story."

"Why is Elle with you?" Jude asked.

"Well, I picked her up yesterday from Driselle. It's been a while since she's been back to Elympios, and she's homesick," Alvin explained. "So since I've got a business meeting there in two days anyway I figured I'd bring her there, drop her off with you or Rowen while I'm at it, and come back for her later. But the thing is, I just got a call from Yurgen a bit ago. Says he really needs me to meet with one of our clients tomorrow - in Xian Du. I need to book it there if I want to make it. And I don't want to be dragging the little lady around with me everywhere. I already had to bring her here to pick up something from another client. And I remembered you saying the other day that you were going to Laforte today, so… I was hoping you wouldn't mind watching her today and bringing her back with you to Elympios tomorrow."

"So you're asking us to play babysitter," Milla said.

"Yes, well. I suppose you could put it like that."

"I'm not a baby," Elle protested, her expression turning into a pout. "I can watch myself. Besides, I have Rollo." As if to add to her argument, Rollo gave a loud meow.

"We can watch her," Milla said, her eyes still on Alvin.

"Wait, really?" Jude looked at her, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. "Are you sure, Milla?"

She nodded. "You were planning on staying the night in Fennmont anyway, weren't you? I don't see why we can't keep Elle with us."

He continued to look at her in puzzlement for a moment - he briefly pondered questioning the subject further, but it could wait. He didn't want to get into having to explain more details and possibly worry Alvin or Elle. Instead, he turned back to Alvin and nodded. "We'll watch her. And I'll bring her with me tomorrow and hopefully I'll be able to meet up with Rowen."

"Great! Knew I could count on you." With that, Alvin stepped forward and slapped a hand on Jude's shoulder. He then looked back over to Milla. "So… am I going to see you again?"

"I want to resolve this as quickly as possible," she said, folding her arms. "So I doubt it."

With a sigh, Alvin nodded his head once before starting for the doors of the inn. "Call me if anything comes up, yeah?"

Jude gave him a small wave. "Yeah. Thanks."

Without turning back Alvin raised his hand to the group of them, and with a decisive motion he opened the doors and then he was gone.

Silence enveloped them for only a moment before Jude spoke, glancing at the clock on the wall and then looking to Elle. "Well, it's getting a little late. Have you had anything for dinner yet, Elle?"

She shook her head. "No. And I'm hungry. And so is Rollo! I have some food for him in my bag, though."

He meowed loudly, and Jude gave a small laugh. "It looks like you're taking good care of him."

Elle positively beamed, placing her hands on her hips.

"I'll go get us a room," Jude said. "Be right back."

After waiting only a moment, he was up at the front desk. As he passed his gald to the receptionist and got his key in return, the thought occurred to him that not even two hours ago he had expected to be checking in here now by himself, and maybe he'd read a book and make some tofu miso soup and perhaps even go to bed early for once. Now, all he had was an unsettling mixture of feelings that only added to the surrealness of the day. And of course the most surreal thing about it was staring him right in the face as he turned around. But that wasn't something he could think of, he couldn't think of it like that: like last time, he just needed to be grateful they had this time together at all. Even if she was here for other reasons, the fact that he was able to see her again could only be called a blessing. Yes. This was good. Surely he would get the chance to talk with her. To catch up. And maybe he would get to tell her about all the progress he'd made in the last year - all the hard work he'd done, all the time and effort he'd poured into his research. So that one day they wouldn't have to worry about mana.

So yes. There was no reason to be anything but happy. Thinking that, he managed to smile at at her as he said "Come on," whilst motioning for them both to follow him. As he turned toward the staircase, however, he caught a glimpse of Milla's smile that she gave back to him, that same soft smile that she gave only to him, the same one she had when they had said goodbye last, and suddenly he was reminded of why having her here felt like a knife twisting inside him.

One stair flight up and a few doors down the corridor and they arrived. Jude twisted the lock open with the key he had been given, and as soon as the door opened Elle rocketed past him and threw herself on the first bed.

"Wow! Fancy!" She said, rolling over and taking in the sight of their room. There were two beds, one next to a large sliding glass door that let to a small veranda, so that an almost emerald color from the night clime sky cast into the room. A small kitchenette was to the immediate left of the door, and to the right, a door to a bathroom. "I didn't know you were rich, Jude."

Jude laughed a bit, waiting for Milla to walk past him before he shut the door. "I wish. This is pretty much the standard in Fennmont. I doubt you'd find anywhere to stay that wasn't at least this nice." He then walked over to the kitchenette, opening the fridge and giving it a cursory glance. "Is tofu miso soup okay, Elle?"

"Okay!"

Jude nodded, grabbing one of the pots and bringing it to the sink, starting to fill it with water. "Why don't you go sit down? This won't take too long," he said as Milla walked over to him.

She shook her head. "You should relax. I can make it."

"Really, I'm fine, I can - wait, what?"

She tilted her head at him. "What?"

"I was just… under the impression that you still couldn't cook anything."

"Well…" Milla looked a bit away from him - and for a split second, Jude could have sworn her cheeks looked like they had a tinge of pink on them. "I can make this. I've been practicing. Muzét and I both have been cooking when we can," she said, looking back over to him.

Jude had more than few questions - starting with something like "does the Lord of Spirits really have the time to be cooking" and ending with something like "how in the world does having Muzét as a cooking partner grant any more validation to your claim" but he didn't voice any of them for now. If it were just the two of them, he probably would let Milla cook. But at this very moment Elle was with them, and perhaps it was the memories floating up of that one time Jude had Leia cook for him when he was younger, but he wasn't about to risk Elle's health.

"At least let me help," Milla continued, bringing Jude back to reality.

He brought the pot of water to the stove, before going back to the fridge and taking out a small assortment of ingredients. "If you really want to, I'd appreciate it," he said as he laid things out onto the counter. "Do you want to cut and chop, and I'll work on the broth?"

Milla nodded, and wasted no time in taking a knife from one of the drawers and setting herself to work. Jude watched her carefully; it really did seem like she had been practicing, with her fairly fluid movements as she not only put down a cutting board first, but also sliced the green onion in half before she started to cut it into smaller pieces.

Yet still Jude found himself quickly placing his hands over hers before he had even begun his part of the workload. "Milla, wait," he said, despite the fact that he was already holding onto her hands.

Unfazed, she looked at him curiously. "What is it?"

"You could cut yourself like that," he said, before gently pushing her fingers so that they curled into her palm. "It's safer like this."

"I see," she said, her eyes studying their hands. "Thank you."

"O-oh," Jude stammered, suddenly aware that he had not only basically grabbed her hands, but was still holding them firmly. He quickly drew himself back, his eyes casting off to the side. "Sorry."

Milla looked over at him, her head tilted slightly to the side. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Oh, uh… no reason." His gaze shifted back to her, and he was met with her small, reassuring smile. It was amazing, truly, the effect it had: all of a sudden whatever had been worrying him had faded away, as if it was never there to begin with. He couldn't help but give her a little smile in return before stepping back to the stove and turning his attention to it.

As he added ingredients to the water and began to stir it, however, with each passing moment he felt his heart sinking further and further. Why _had_ he apologized just for touching her? Why did he feel… awkward, that's what it it was - at all?

The last time Milla was here, after the initial tidal wave of happiness of seeing her again, Jude had, honestly, felt miserable in a way - at least at first. Because of course one of the first things she had talked about was her finite time here. Yet still, they had managed to enjoy the time they did have together. The time they did have was precious. Their trip to the top of the Kijara Seafalls, making wishes on the stars in Fennmont, even just having her there, to be able to talk to her, they were all irreplaceable memories that truly had made him happy.

Yet still, even as they stood here together not even five feet apart, Jude found himself almost at a loss of what to say.

But why? Milla was the most important person to Jude. That was something he had admitted to himself long ago. Where had the ease from only a year ago gone? Why was the fluttering of his chest that he got when he saw her now so quickly replaced by creeping dread?

Perhaps going through the inevitability of their parting again was just too much.

Regardless, it was not something Jude could dwell on. She was here, and that was what mattered. He was blessed enough to see her again, and so soon, and even though she had other priorities, he was going to make the most of it - for her sake. If it was for her sake, he could do anything.

Then again, if she had such important things to be doing here, he did wonder why he was standing here making soup with her.

Eventually, Milla passed him the freshly chopped ingredients. As he added them to the soup, he couldn't help but smile as their somewhat misshapen forms fell in - some smaller than others, some cut a bit diagonally. "Thanks," he said, doing his best not to let a little laugh escape him.

Milla shook her head. "Not at all. You did most of the work. Next time you're going to make this, let me."

Now he let out a short laugh, glancing at her with a smile as he started to pour the soup into smaller bowls. "Don't tell me this is all you know how to make," he said jokingly.

"Well... yes, it is."

"Wait, really?" Jude looked over at her again, and much to his surprise, Milla didn't meet his gaze back. "If you wanted to start cooking, you could have started with something… simpler."

"I could have, but… I wanted to know how to make this."

Jude tilted his head a bit - not only because of her somewhat odd answer, but also because now there was definitely a pink tinge to Milla's face, and she still refused to look him in the eye.

"Is it ready yet?" Elle called from over the divider.

"Yeah, it's all done," Jude answered. "One second." He then picked up a soup-filled bowl and handed it to Milla. "Here," he said with a smile. This time, thankfully, she met his gaze and smiled back at him, and suddenly Jude felt as if all was right in the world again.

As she left the kitchenette Jude took the other two bowls and followed her around the corner of the divider. He found Elle sitting on one of the beds, petting Rollo with a gentle enthusiasm. "Here you are," he said, handing her one of the bowls. "Careful, it's hot."

"Thanks," Elle replied as she took the soup from him, promptly taking a large spoonful and blowing on it. Jude took a seat on the other bed, next to Milla.

"It's good," Milla said as she lowered her spoon from what was probably at least her third bite. "As usual," she added, giving Jude a small smile.

The comment made Jude feel like he just might start floating off the bed, though he was quickly called back down as Elle chimed in, "Yeah, it's pretty okay."

Still, he smiled at her. "I'm sorry it doesn't live up to your high standards."

"Well, I've been learning to cook too, y'know," Elle said after she took another large bite. "I was gonna go in there and help, but you two looked so much like a married couple when I looked in there I thought I better stay out of the way."

Jude quite nearly dropped his bowl, his face suddenly feeling hotter than the soup in between his hands. At a bit of a loss as to what to say after a comment like that, his eyes flickered to Milla, whose gaze was cast to the side, her bangs obscuring most of her face.

Meanwhile, Elle gave them a quizzical look. "Um… are you guys, like… not a couple?"

It was as Jude was racking his brain for an answer for far too long that it hit him: this was what bothered him. That he couldn't answer a question like this. What _were_ he and Milla, exactly?

Jude loved her, of course. Yet he had never told her that. Not verbally, anyway. And they had certainly done some rather coupley things. But there had never been any discussion of the topic. But there didn't have to be, did there? They most certainly had a connection - one that ran deeper than words. It wasn't often that he had to ask to know her thoughts or how she felt; that was one of the reasons they worked so well together. He hadn't told her his feelings not only because he thought they were fairly evident, but also because if, for whatever reason, she didn't realize, then Jude didn't want her to know. They couldn't be together, and that was that. There was no reason to make it harder for her.

Yes. Of course. They weren't a couple. Maybe they were, a year ago. Maybe they were for those precious instances when they were alone, when they felt like they were the only two people in the world, but now, they weren't. He wasn't sure why he was taking this long to answer - or why Milla hadn't said anything.

"Oh!" Elle suddenly said, quickly putting her bowl down on the nearby nightstand. "I have to feed Rollo!" Before she could move an inch, Rollo meowed loudly. Within a few seconds Elle had leaned down and picked up her bag from the floor, promptly taking out a small bag of cat food. "I need another bowl."

"I'll get you one. Hold on." Finishing his soup, Jude turned his attention to Milla to take her bowl for her -

Except she wasn't there.

He hadn't even noticed her get up.

"She went into the kitchen a minute ago," Elle said.

Jude nodded. "I'll be right back." He stood and walked past the room's divider and into the kitchenette, and of course, there Milla was, rinsing her bowl out in the sink.

"Thank you for the food," she said as Jude passed by her before he opened the cabinet.

He hadn't really expected her to say anything in regards to Elle's comment, but still he felt some kind of dull pain in his chest. "It's my pleasure," he replied in all honesty.

There was a small pause as Jude placed his bowl on the counter and took another from the shelf, before Milla said in a slightly lowered voice, "She still doesn't seem to like me very much."

Jude shook his head, and gave her a small, reassuring smile. "I think a lot of it's that she hasn't seen you in a year. I think she can and will warm up to you. Here. Why don't you go give this to her so she can feed Rollo?"

He held out the bowl to her, and she smiled at him. It made his heart flutter and his thoughts from only a few minutes ago were wiped from his mind - for a second, at least, there was just Milla and him here, her fingertips brushing his as she took the bowl from him, and maybe, maybe, they could at least have their precious moments together once more.

And what a truly fleeting second that was, because the second Jude pulled his hands back, Milla gasped as the bowl fell and shattered against the counter. Jude's reaction was instantaneous, if irrational, for instead of attempting to catch it he had his hands on Milla's arms and had pushed her out of harm's way before the bowl even hit the countertop.

"Hey, are you guys okay?!" Elle called, her voice slightly panicked.

"We're fine," Milla answered. "I just dropped something."

Despite the innocuity of the mishap, Milla's voice had a slight nervous edge to it. And Jude knew exactly why.

He had only seen it for less than an instant after the bowl had fallen and before he had pushed her. Milla hadn't dropped it at all - the bowl had simply fallen because nothing was supporting it, as Milla's hands had quite literally vanished. In a split second, they had faded and simply ceased to exist.

Jude looked down at the ends of her arms - her hands were there now, perfectly in tact. "Milla…. Milla, what was -"

Before he could finish, she took one of his hands. "You're bleeding."

His eyes glanced to his palm - indeed, he did have a small cut in between his index finger and thumb. "That doesn't matter right now," he said, his voice quickening. "What happened -"

"We can discuss it once she's asleep," Milla said, her voice nearly a whisper. "Let's not worry her."

With a somewhat shaky breath, Jude nodded. She was right - she was right and he trusted her. Surely, there was no reason to worry. Of course.

"Hold on, you're hurt," he said as she turned her hand over to pull it away. Milla's eyes moved down to her hand, where a thin streak of red stretched across the center of its back. Jude gently pulled her hand back before bringing his other hand over it, a light glow emitting from his palm. A moment later and the cut had healed, leaving only a faded line.

"Thank you," Milla said. Jude could tell from her tone that she was probably giving him a smile, but his eyes remained fixated on her hand. It seemed to fit so nicely in his, and even now he could recall the precise, perfect feeling of her slender fingers intertwining with his. That fleeting feeling of total harmony - it reminded Jude of how things were between them as a whole. Harmonious, perfect. But fleeting.

He gingerly let go, bringing his hands together to heal the prickling sting of the cut on his hand while ignoring the far greater pain that was shooting through his chest. "Here," he said, opening the cabinet again and handing Milla a new bowl. "I'll clean this up."

She nodded and gave him a small smile, which Jude did his best to return. As she left, he carefully brushed the leftover remnants of the other bowl into the trash. He then turned on the sink, rinsing out his bowl. He dried it off with a towel, too; unnecessary, yes, but somehow he didn't feel fully motivated to return to the other room. Because he wanted Milla to have at least a few minutes alone with Elle. Not because he wanted a bit of reprieve before the knife stuck inside him was inevitably twisted again.

Just as certain as that was, however, time went on, and minutes later Jude was rounding the corner of the divider into the bedroom.

Milla was sitting on one of the beds, and before Jude could say anything she quickly placed a finger on her lips, looking from him over to the other bed. Elle was laying on her side, eyes closed and one hand over Rollo, who was licking his lips as he finished off the food in the bowl in front of him.

"She laid down to pet him and fell asleep a few minutes later," Milla whispered. "It must've been a long day for her."

Jude smiled, quietly walking over to Elle and Rollo. "Let's put her to bed," he said, barely audible.

Without needing a prompt, Rollo crawled out of Elle's hold and jumped off the bed. As Milla stood, Jude slid his arms under Elle and gently lifted her. Milla moved Rollo's empty bowl to the nightstand, before carefully removing Elle's hat from her head and placing it on top of her bag. She then pulled down the blanket, and Jude lowered Elle back onto the bed. He gingerly slipped his arms out from under her, and as Milla then brought the blanket over her with a careful precision, Jude couldn't help but smile.

"Let's talk outside," Milla whispered, and Jude was violently reminded that things were not as blissful as they seemed in that one moment.

Regardless Jude followed her out to the small veranda, sliding the door quietly shut behind them. He had started to speak before it was even fully closed. "What happened back there?"

"I don't know," Milla said simply as she rested her hands on the rail, her gaze cast out toward the city plaza.

"How do you feel?" Jude asked, walking to her side.

"Completely normal."

Jude placed his hands on the rail. "What could have caused something like that to happen?"

Milla shook her head. "I'm not sure. Whatever it was, I'd wager it's linked to this phenomena of spirits disappearing. If it's something that can affect even the Lord of Spirits, then it's something I need to get to the center of quickly."

Jude tried to fight the unease building in his stomach - if they had no idea what had happened, then that was that. There was no use dwelling on it, not without any more clues, at least. Yet still he found his insides feeling like they were sinking like lead. What if this happened again? What if it wasn't just her hands next time? What if she didn't come back?

Jude's eyes fell from her gaze, still looking out toward the city, down to her hands. He wanted to place his on top of them, to feel that she was there, to keep her here, with him. After a moment he looked back up to her face, and he was reminded of when they stood on the top of that Elympion airship heading to the _Zenethra,_ a time that felt like ages ago. Back then too Jude had seen that hint of such uncharacteristic uncertainty in her eyes, just like now, and also like now, he felt powerless. If he had reached out to her more back then, would things have gone differently? If he had reached out and held her hand, would he have been able to help her, to keep her there? His mind wandered to the events that day, and what transpired only hours after their talk on the ship, and suddenly he felt like throwing his arms around Milla entirely.

Yet still he kept his hands firm on the railing.

"Jude, what do you think about all this?"

Milla's voice broke him from his small reverie. Thankful to have something else to think about, Jude drummed his fingers on the railing and thought a moment before answering. Today was the first day he had heard anything about spirits vanishing; he didn't exactly have a lot of information to go on. Eventually, Jude looked to her and met her gaze. "You said you were sure the spirits weren't dying… but you can't sense them anywhere. Right?" Milla nodded, and he continued, "That means they must exist somewhere. Is there anywhere they could be where you wouldn't be able to tell if they were there?"

"Everywhere in Rieze Maxia and Elympios is under Maxwell's total jurisdiction. If they had simply gone somewhere else, I would know."

"Then it follows that they must be somewhere that's not on Rieze Maxia or Elympios. If you eliminate the impossible -"

"Whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth," Milla finished with a small smile. "Right." Her smile faded, however, as she paused and her eyes moved back to the cityscape. "Canaan."

"You mean since it's an area under Origin's control, you wouldn't be able to sense if the spirits were there?"

Again, Milla nodded. "I can't think of a reason why they would be there, but when you put it like you did, it seems to be the only possible answer." Her gaze moved up toward the sky. "At the very least, I need to get to Canaan to confirm this."

"But how? The soul bridge doesn't exist anymore."

"Since Origin's Trial is over, we shouldn't need one. There has to be some way. If there isn't, then I'll create a way."

The way she spoke, with such determination and certainty, like her very words could rewrite the truths of the world - it moved Jude, like it always had. Her sheer inner strength and will was something he had always admired. "I'll come with you."

Milla turned toward him, meeting his gaze steadily. "You shouldn't."

Instantly Jude felt like his insides had been replaced by ice. "What - what do you mean?"

"This is something that I have to do, as the Lord of Spirits. Once it's settled, I'll return to the spirit realm."

Jude took a step forward, despite feeling like a new knife was stabbing into him. "That doesn't matter. I want to be with - I want to help you." A feeling of anxiety, of almost panic, had started to course through him. Milla was off, and it wasn't hard to tell. Not just by her words - in fact, what was causing Jude the most concern was the fact that she was refusing to look at him anymore, her eyes cast to the side as her fingers curled into her palms. "I'm coming with you."

One of Milla's hands moved back to the rail, gripping it tightly, as her other slowly started to move up to her chest. "Jude… if we -"

A nearly bloodcurdling scream rang out, and before it had even ended Jude and Milla had slid open the door and rushed back inside.

Elle was sitting up, holding her knees close to her chest as her body shook violently. In an instant Jude and Milla were at the side of her bed, and quickly and gently, Jude placed a hand on one of her shoulders. "Elle, what's wrong?" He asked, trying to keep any worry out of his voice.

"I… I… I j-just…" Elle's speech was broken as sobs started to rack her body. She buried her face into her knees, curling into herself as much as she could. "I had a d-dream about… about D-Daddy… and…" She shook her head as her voice trailed off.

"I'm so sorry, Elle," Jude murmured at a bit of a loss, sitting down on the side of her bed. He rubbed Elle's shoulder in light, soothing circles, but her body continued to shake with each sob, not seeming to be comforted too much. Rollo jumped on the bed from the other side, meowing once as he rubbed himself against Elle.

Milla sat down next to Jude, and after a moment, delicately placed a hand on one of Elle's legs. As the sound of Elle's cries continued to fill the room, Jude racked his brain to try and think of something, anything, to say or do - and then, over the heartbroken sobs, Jude heard the soft humming of a familiar melody.

Milla was quiet enough to be soft and gentle, but loud enough to be heard. Jude quickly joined in, humming the Hymn of Proof in time with her. Slowly but surely Elle's sobs started to die down, becoming quieter and quieter, her body shaking less and less. Despite her quivering, she unwrapped one arm from around her knees, and lightly touched her hand onto Jude's on her shoulder. A few notes later, she tentatively brought her other to rest on Milla's.

As Elle's hand trembled slightly on his, Jude was reminded of only minutes ago, when he was caught in a downward spiral of "what if." And now, as they hummed this bittersweet song of longing and togetherness, Jude found himself no longer thinking. In a steady but decisive motion, he brought his free hand to Milla's, placing it on top of hers and holding with a gentle firmness.

Eventually, Elle calmed to only soft sniffles and the song started to end, and she too hummed with them, albeit barely audibly. As the tune finished, silence filled the room. A few moments later Elle raised her head a bit, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes on her sleeve. "Thank… you…" She mumbled, not looking of them in the eye.

"Can we get you anything?" Jude asked quietly.

"No… 'm tired… I wanna sleep," Elle said, her voice completely exhausted.

Jude nodded once, and as Elle laid back down he pulled the blanket over her with his hand that had been on her shoulder.

"Um…" Elle began tentatively, pulling the blanket up to her chin, "can you guys… stay in here?"

Before Jude could even think, Milla voiced what would have been his answer. "Of course."

Elle gave them an almost imperceptible nod. She then turned over onto her side, and Rollo curled up against her chest.

For a few moments Jude and Milla remained sitting on the side of her bed. Their hands had yet to separate, and Jude could almost still feel the last note of the Hymn of Proof dying on his lips. It was then, as he could have sworn he felt Milla giving his hand a light squeeze, that he thought of the last time this had happened, when they had held hands and hummed this very song for the spyrite of Maxwell. Back then, Jude had been filled with so much hope for the future. Everything seemed certain to work out, and he thought - he knew - that one day, he would hold Milla's hand like that again.

Right now, all he wanted was that certainty again, that certainty that this wouldn't be the last time.

"We should rest," Milla said quietly, standing and taking her hand away from Jude's before sitting on the other bed.

Jude stood as well, glancing over his options. Well, the chair in the corner looked comfier than the floor.

"You're not going to lay down?" Milla asked.

"I - well - aren't you going to sleep there?"

Milla's eyes moved briefly over the bed. "This is plenty big for two people."

Jude looked down at the floor, heat rising to his face as he gripped one of his wrists. "I - know, that's… not the issue."

"Not sleeping in a proper bed isn't good for you," Milla said as she undid the clasps of her boots. "And somehow I don't think that's something you do very often," she added, a small, almost playful smile on her face.

Of course, she was right. Jude was pretty certain he had spent more nights asleep at his desk than in his bed. And not only was it impossible to argue with Milla once she had her mind set on something, but Jude was truthfully rather exhausted, and those were the only reasons, he told himself, of course, that he walked over and sat on the other side of the bed. He quickly undid his shoes and slipped out of them before pulling back the blanket, laying down several feet away from Milla.

"Tomorrow, we can start figuring out a plan to get back to Canaan," Milla whispered, bringing the blanket up to her chest.

Jude nodded, his eyelids feeling distinctly heavier now that the warmth of the covers had enveloped him. He closed them, trying to recall at what time ships for Marksburg departed - and then opened them quickly, looking over at Milla.

"I should know by now that even if I told you not to, you'd come with me anyway," she said quietly. It was too dark to see - or perhaps it was just sleep beginning to overcome him - but he thought he heard a small smile in her voice.

As she turned over, Jude took a deep breath. A big part of him wanted to scoot closer, to at least hold her hand, to be certain nothing would happen, as if he could ensure that she would be there in the morning. But she would be, she definitely would. He closed his eyes again, waiting for sleep to wash over him completely.

"Thank you."

Her voice was almost inaudible, so much so that Jude wasn't entirely sure she had even said it. But now he was too far gone, too deep into the tide of sleep to ask. His mind started to wander one last time, and then he realized something else - Milla didn't need to sleep. There was no reason for her to be laying here next to him.

Finally, he was fully pulled under the currents of slumber.

* * *

><p>in the early idea of this it was going to be a whole chapter of them doing various kid-sitting stuff with elle... just a whole chapter devoted to cute, fluffy things and then it really turned out.. not... being much of any of that... and so now the cute things just feel.. awkward or the whole basis of the chapter seems.. awkward but i dont know i was knee-deep in it and that point. so. thank you very much for reading, as always!<p> 


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